Alice in the Country of Oz
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: With ruby slippers, Alice must follow the yellow brickpath to Emerald City and ask the help of Oz in order to return to Kansas. Meet Ace, a knight who wishes to get better memory; Boris, a cat who wishes to become a lion; and a Joker who wishes to have a heart so he can understand how to entertain people. Then her pet rabbit Sidney turns human. Things go down when love comes in. AU


**Alice in the Country of Oz  
**May 30th, 2013  
_Wonderful Wonder World by QuinRose, Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum  
Story by Elise the Writing Desk (Bee)_

* * *

"Alice! You have to study for your SAT!" Pa yelled angrily as he saw her daughter was on her laptop like usual. "You didn't get accepted in Medical Education, if you don't pass SAT, I'll shoot your laptop!"

"Fine, fine, Pa! I'm going to study! Get out of my room, geez." Alice pushed her father out of the room and closed her door, locking it. She sighed and glared at the papers on her bed.

Those were papers of rejection for her application on some college. She was an ace in her school with perfect scores, great academic achievements, but she didn't get in.

"Sorry Pa." She laughed nervously. "I wasn't sure if I want to be a doctor...so I messed up my application..." she confessed to no one, pretending as if her father listened.

(If he did, she'd probably got shot.)

Suddenly, she heard her mother screamed, and there was an earth quake.

"Wah!? What's going on! Pa! Ma? Are you oka—WHAT!?" Alice shrieked as she opened her door and saw a tornado was hitting her home. She froze on the frame, then slammed her door close.

"Sidney! We're gonna die! Period!" she frantically grabbed her black rabbit in its cage, grabbed a pen and a paper, then hid under her bed. "At least let me finish my will! Oh, Sidney, at least we're not going to die alone..." she hugged her rabbit and started to write her will.

~.X.~

But they didn't die.

"Oh. We're alive...somehow." Alice said after it got silent for a while. The girl got out of the under of her bed and looked around.

Her room was still the same.

"Damn, I think I might have been dreaming." She mumbled. "Don't need this, then." She ripped her will and then went to exit her room.

"Pa, Ma? Are you—oh, hello midgets." Alice smiled to them.

Oh, there were hundreds of midgets in a prairie. Please note, it wasn't the living room, it was a prairie. Alice didn't know there was a prairie in her house. Why'd her Pa or Ma invited those midgets anyway?

The girl slammed her door close.

'_THE HELL WAS THAT!?'_ she mentally shrieked, and ran to her window.

...

Prairie...prairie...prairie...flying pigs...Yeah, pretty normal.

"WHERE AM I!?" she cried, pulling her hair, and frantically searched for pen and paper. "Goddamnit, why did I rip that will before!"

"Now why the heck am I here? Where's that idiot?" Alice froze as she heard a man's voice somewhere.

The girl frantically looked around, and then saw a hand reaching out, under her bed.

"Zombie...? NO...WAIT...SIDNEY WAS THERE!" Alice cried, and then stomped to grab a broomstick in the corner of her room. Shivering, she held up the broomstick as she cried over the hand that slowly creeped out further.

"Drat, why did that idiot put me down here..." a head came out and looked up at her. "There you are, stupid idi—"

SMACK

"ACK! What was that—"

"How dare you!"

SMACK

"I DIDN'T EVEN—"

"You killed my baby Sidney!"

SMACK

"BUT I'M—"

"Die, zombie! Die!"

SMACK

"STOP—"

"Die a virgin!"

SMACK

SMACK

Then the bed was flipped over.

"I'M SIDNEY, YOU IDIOT!" the man roared in wrath, snatched the broomstick and broke it into two, his red and grey eyes glaring at the teen. His face was red from getting smacked by the broomstick.

"You ate my rabbit!" Alice cried. "Now I'm trapped here in this prairie with midgets...and flying pigs...and a rabbit-eared zombie! I want Ma and Pa!" she sobbed and sat down on the floor.

Sidney blankly stared at her, processing what she had said.

...

...

His mind couldn't compute it.

...Wait a second.

Sidney twitched as he stared at his paws...hands...he patted his furry...hairy...head...

...

He's human, somehow.

Great, he totally couldn't compute this.

"Oi, first of all, idiot. Let me get this straight." Sidney said to the teen angrily. "I'm Sidney, your rabbit."

Alice stopped her sobbing and gaped at him.

"And now that I can talk to you, I want to say this things I've been keeping for so long;" Sidney cleared his throat; "I hate you! Idiot! I don't like being in that stupid cage! I hate white! I hate carrots, feed me green veggies, you idiot! I don't like sleeping with you! You squished me once, I almost _fucking _died! You have small tits, and Dear God, you should change your clothes in the bathroom!"

Alice gaped even wider. "Oh my God! You're Sidney! Oh nooo! You saw me naked!" she facepalmed. "Damn it! Go back into a rabbit!" she shooed him.

KNOCK KNOCK

"SHUT UP!" the two yelled at the door, but it was open. A beautiful platinum blonde came into the room, and Sidney gaped as he saw the midgets behind her.

"Ta-daaa~ My name is Crysta the Good~ The Munchkins and I~ Have come to thank you~" she sang in her sentence, spending almost a minute to finish her intro.

Alice and Sidney exchanged stares. Sidney went back to stare at the midgets, which were called Munchkins. Freaky. At least they wore blue, none of them wore white. He hated white.

"Thank me for what?" Alice twitched.

"You've killed the Wicked Witch of the West~!"

...

Sidney narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "What."

"She was looking~ for her sister's Ruby slippers~ and got squished~ under your house~" Crysta sang in her answer.

Alice gaped as her eyes wildly glared down her floor. "My room killed someone!" she gasped. "Oh no! I didn't meant to do it! I'm so sorry!" the girl started crying again.

"Nooo~ We said we're gratef—"

"I'M SO SORRY! I SWEAR! I DIDN'T MEAN TO..."

"That's why~ We said that—"

"I'm a murderer...I'M A MURDERER!"

SLAP

"They said they're thankful, idiot!" Sidney yelled on her ear after slapping her head. Alice paused for a while, then laughed happily.

"Hahaha, it was nothing!"

Sidney facepalmed. Seriously, he couldn't believe this girl was so smart at her school. The college was right to reject her; she's an idiot!

"Please~ Tell us how to thank you~" Crysta sang again happily, as if her antics didn't bother at all.

"Oh, I want an Xbox—"

SMACK

"We want to go back to Kansas." Sidney said after planting another fist to the idiot.

The Munchkins whispered in worry, saying that they didn't have such power or money for such a thing. Crysta waved her hand and wand to calm them down.

"Why~? You can stay~ There will be a lot of food~ We will make sure you will~ live~ ha~ ppily~" Crysta sang even louder, and even more annoying.

Alice nodded in disappointment. "So you don't have Xbox...?"

SMACK

"We need to go home. _She_ needs to go home, seriously." Sidney said, a vein under his bangs, his fist started to get tired of smacking the idiot. "She's just an idiot who failed at life; don't reward her for being lucky." He said coldly.

Alice froze at this, and then hung her head down in shame, not talking anymore.

"Very well~ Our Savior, please~ Wear these slippers~" Crysta swung her wand, and magically, Alice's shoes were switched into a different one; shining, ruby slippers. "Those slippers~ Will show you the way~ go to Emerald City~ ask help from Oz the Wizard~ The yellow brickpath will show you the way~"

Alice flinched in surprise when Sidney put his hand onto her head, nodding to the Good Witch.

"We're very grateful. Farewell everyone." He waved to Crysta and the Munchkins as he pushed Alice out of her room, onto the yellow brickpath.

The two kept looking back until her room, Crysta and the Munchkin fade away in the distance. Finally, they kept walking, and Alice spoke up again.

"Why do we have to go home?" she said. "Like you've said, I failed at life. I studied hard, I thought I wanted to be a Doctor, but I got rejected. I didn't want it. I didn't have anything I want. It will all be easier for me to live here, Sid."

Sidney huffed, turning at her with a scowl.

"Don't you look at those Munchkins? They stared at you as if you're Goddess. No, you're just a useless idiot! Do you want to disappoint more people after your Ma and Pa?" he scolded.

"No..." she murmured guility. "I...I just can't find what I really want to do. I want to make Ma and Pa happy, but...I don't want to always please people. No, I want to make people happy, but I don't know how to do it my own way..."

Sidney didn't say anything, they kept walking. They watched another horde of flying pigs on the sky blankly as the sun slowly set.

"Why do you care anyway?" Alice asked again. "You hated me."

Sidney scoffed. "I only hate you when you're acting like an idiot." He said, not looking her way. "I like you best when you do things that make you happy."

"What made me happy?"

"Idiot. You should know that yourself! I was just your pet rabbit! How am I supposed to know?"

Alice sighed lazily, and they went silent again as they entered a forest filled with trees which bears sweet fruits. Alice stopped and stared at the fat, yellow, bananas and laughed.

"I know what makes me happy!" she said, and grinned to Sidney. "Food!" she pointed at the trees.

Sidney facepalmed.

Moments later, Sidney had Alice standing on his shoulders while she tried to take down the banana.

"H-Hold still, bro."

"Quick! My shoulders hurt!"

"I got it! ...Oh, damn, I got the green one." Alice threw it away and stood again. "Hold still again, I'll try to get the yellow one."

Sidney looked up impatiently and twitched. "All of those are green, idiot!"

"Oh, yeah...damn, didn't notice."

"THIEF!"

BAM

Alice fell on the ground while Sidney had jumped away in shock, because something sharp just poked his back. The girl groaned in pain then looked up to see a young brunet with a big sword, staring blankly at her.

"Aha! Caught you thieves! How dare you to steal in the garden of...of..." the brunet put down his sword, tapping his chin. "...Of...uh...I forgot."

...

"This isn't a garden, idiot." Sidney angrily said. "This is a forest!"

The brunet blinked, and then glanced around, and paused.

"Oh, yeah, I just noticed this."

Both Alice and Sidney facepalmed.

"I thought I was in the Queen's garden, hahahah!" he laughed cheerfully, then extended his hand. "But I see you're hungry! Wanna come to grab some food? I have quite a lot in my tent!"

Sidney narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "I'm not sure I will follow a stranger with a sword—"

"You have food? Sure! I'm Alice!"

"I'm Ace! Wow, our name rhymed! It's amazing!"

"I know! You know what else is amazing?"

"What?"

"You have FOOD!"

"I know!"

Sidney was burning in wrath as he watched the two idiots walked away.

God, he was just a rabbit! Why did he had to babysit two idiots?

* * *

**I finally get to write this out. Who wants more?**


End file.
